Curtis Robinson-NASM Certified Personal Trainer (Fitness and Nutrition)
Time is it’s own reason. We each only have so much of it but how we spend it is completely up to us. We have the power of choice when it comes to investing our time. We choose what we physically do, and while it may be difficult at times, we also choose what we think. I am no stranger to negativity and self- doubt. It took me some time, but I eventually just got fed up with living in fear of what people will think!
I still have get negative thoughts, “You’re gonna fail, there are people way better at this than you, you’re not at 10% bodyfat, there are better gyms with more money” You name it, if it is negative, if it is insulting, I’ve thought it about myself. What I choose to do with those thoughts and negativity however, is simply not believe them. And it’s time you do the same if these annoying thoughts haunt your days.
If we believe them, we give power to them. The power to prevent us from trying, from enjoying the experience of trying, the experience of the challenge, we simply quit before we ever even start because of disbelief in ourselves. You cannot continue allowing these negative thoughts to run and control your life. You are born beautiful and made to live a beautiful life, free from the opinions of people, and these people include YOU. You want to be free from your biggest critic, yourself.
This self-conscious doubt arises from a place of fear in us. A fear of rejection, ridicule, and a fear of what others may think of us. The funny part is, this fear is irrational and not really protecting us from anything. Most other people are too busy in their own heads managing their own self-conscious doubts to take the time to analyze all of our faults or critique our performance. They too are probably experiencing negativity and harsh criticisms in their own minds. And you may ask yourself “How can so and so think that about herself?! She is so pretty and so good at what she does?!”
Guess what, other people are actually saying the same thing about you “How can she feel that way about herself?! She is amazing, beautiful, and works so hard?!” Just because we are thinking negative thoughts about ourselves at times, it doesn’t mean everyone around us is. That’s the irrational fear talking. The fear that is afraid of the opinions of others. I have learned to live by an extremely liberating principle. I call it F.W.P.T. Let’s just say it stands for “Who cares, what people think!”
Once I decided what other people think of me really doesn’t matter, I was liberated. Now, I have to remind myself of my philosophy constantly, but it works, and even better and most importantly, it frees me from what I think other people might be thinking! So, I don’t fight against the negative chatter I have internally, I observe, laugh it off, and continue steadfast toward my goals.
When I look in the mirror, some of my first thoughts might be, geeesh I’m fat, I’m ugly, don’t smile because your smile is hideous, your class is going to suck today, but before I leave that mirror, I laugh at the attempts negativity makes to ruin my day. I remember, I don’t really care about that stuff. I smile because I’m happy, not because I’m applying for the cover of GQ Magazine, I’m not fat, though I carry some fat, I’m awesome! Because I don’t let it slow me down or hold me back, these silly things will not define who I am. I don’t care if people think I’m ugly, and I know if I go through my day thinking everyone thinks negative things I won’t be able to be my best version and help them, I won’t be able to hold an awesome workout class, I’ll be all imprisoned in my mind and in fear and this brilliant personality will never get to shine (hehe).
All the negativity inside ourselves only turns every positive experience in our days to a negative one, and we do it to ourselves. But all we need to do is stop believing in the negative stuff. Choose the positive thought and guess what, you’re going to have a better day! The fear isn’t protecting us from anything except enjoying our days, it keeps us from new adventure, and getting outside our shells and truly experiencing our lives to the fullest potential.
Finally, there will always be a few negative nancies and “haters”. Who cares?! In all reality they are just projecting the criticism and negativity they are living with onto others. Nobody really wants to be mean or insulting to others, I don’t know, maybe there are some that do, but I feel more often than not, we as people are just feeling attacked by criticism, probably from our own minds, and so we criticize others sometimes to give ourselves a break from being under the microscope. It happens, we’ve all done it, were just human.
If you deal with internal negativity try something new. Observe the thoughts, laugh them off, and realize, they don’t define you, don’t allow them the power to define you, otherwise the rest of us will miss out on your shine, and on your brilliant personality.
Realize they just come from a place of fear and fear robs us of joy and the freedom to experience a quality life. You are brave and beautiful, and you don’t have time to be held back by fears, it’s time to let them go, they are NOT protecting you, they are just holding your awesomeness back, overcome them.
Always Remember F.W.P.T.!